(no subject)

...I always imagine myself writing like Kathleen Kelley, with the reader in mind, and that narrative voice in my head. I am so much like her when I write. My face changes, and my mind sometimes goes -- blank!

If life were like the movies, it would be so much easier. We wouldn't have so many questions about decisions that we make, life ends happily ever after on top of the Empire State Building or in some New York apartment, hearts can be broken and pieced back together in a mere 2 hours. The difference between life and the movies, though, is that Someone guiding us. God is in control of our steps. My steps. Your steps. I might question my steps and my motives, I might ask a million questions along the way, I might make mistakes, I might cause hurt for a dear friend, but I know that God is always there, always going to be there. He's the one constant in a bad situation. He'll deal with my faults in His own way and in His timing (not mine. Reminder!). He'll beautify my imperfections. He's the one I need to lean on when I'm not sure of where my life is headed or when I doubt my decisions.

I used to listen to KLOVE a lot. Then I went through this country music phase, and then I set one of my presets on my stereo to the rap music, just to get a break from the heartache and ballads. But within the last 2 months, I'm back to KLOVE. Perfect for what I need right now. I'm glad that I saw the light again b/c it's refocused my mind on where it needs to be. I'm not so entertained by hearing about booty calls, or love lost. But what I am entertained by is seeking God's face, and resting in his embrace, and hearing that I'm not alone.

During lunch today I took advantage of the gorgeous weather and parked by the river to enjoy my Subway 6-inch. Just to take some time to pray. When I got back to work I turned on pandora and heard "Everlasting God" by Chris Tomlin:
Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

He's the everlasting God, He's the defender of the weak. He comforts those in need. He lifts us up on wings like eagles.

Lifted on wings like eagles. That's where I want to be on this journey.

Discernment is what I need. To know what's God and what's me.

I'm praying for peace for you in the midst of pain. Time will heal us.